


Beginning

by armadil_Lo



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Fluff, M/M, Minific, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 12:56:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6986041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armadil_Lo/pseuds/armadil_Lo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>things you said too quietly</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> prompt meme on tumblr, number 3: "things you said too quietly" requested from anonymous

You are in love.

You are in love but you refuse to admit it.

You are in love but you refuse to admit it because he is the golden boy. He is the one with the blinding smile and the quick fingers and the dripping tongue. He is the one with all the false charm in the world but the sweetest natural disposition you've ever come across. He is the one who pesters everyone with inane questions, who goes out in battle with all guns blazing, who frets and worries and someone is injured, who simply "refuses" to get sick or stays up working well into the night. He is the one who is ridiculed daily but is still well aware of how much he is cherished.

You are in love with Gavin Free and you refuse to admit it.

Because you don't deserve him.

Because _you_ are the one with the dark clothes, the dark demeanour, the darker past. You are the one with so much blood on your hands that you can't even see past the red anymore. You are the one with so many problems that you can't sleep at night half of the time, and when you do you're often rewarded with nightmares. You're the one with mood swings, with a smoking habit, with too many secrets, with violence issues. And maybe, maybe you egg on his questions, maybe you can laugh and be protective and care too. Maybe you have some redeeming qualities. But compared to him? You are entirely undeserving of all of the good you've been given.

So maybe you are in love. But you will never tell a soul.

You refuse to admit it even after you begin to notice the soft touches, even after you catch the fond gazes, even after you realise you're letting your guard down.

You start spending more time with Gavin out of work. It's like he's suddenly making more of an effort to talk to you, to text you, to get to know you. And before you were colleagues and of course you were friendly, but there was still a distance. That gets resolved almost immediately. It comes naturally for the two of you to spend hours talking on the phone, to easily pass the time laughing together during boring stakeouts, or to grab some takeout together after work and tangle your legs while you eat on his couch.

You know the others must pick up on it. You two chat over the comms with a lot more fluidity now on jobs, and you see the way Geoff does a double take when you throw your arm over Gavin's shoulders while he's explaining a heist one day. Gavin blows off Michael's offer for drinks and invites himself over to your place for video games instead. Ray makes a deadpan comment once implying that the two of you are sleeping together, which Jack rebuts by claiming you're just dating. They're not stupid.

And neither are you.

You can tell it's not just friendship that is growing. It's always been undercut with those soft touches and those fond gazes, you just got used to them somewhere along the way. It's always been undercut with some excitement on your part and some desire on his, you just figured you’d let things play out.

So it really shouldn't come as a surprise when he kisses you.

It's a quiet moment, after an evening at his apartment that started with Halo and somehow evolved into an in depth conversation about your pasts. You feel infinitely closer after laying everything out and him not even batting an eyelid. There's a moment of silence as you both run out of things to say, before you glance at your watch and suggest you get going.

But instead, Gavin grabs ahold of your forearm with one hand and cups your cheek with the other and suddenly the two of you are mouth to mouth. It's quick and chaste and sweet and when you break apart with wide eyes, for just a second the world is still. And then the two of you come back together with more force this time, desperation seeping into your frantic actions. It's grasping hands and fast mouths and he tastes like cherry and your heart is pounding, pounding, pounding. You have waited too god damn long for this.

You have been cold on the inside for so many years, but the feeling of his lips on yours starts a small, sparking fire in your chest.

A break for air and Gavin whispers your name. Whispers, _"Ryan."_ You stare into his green eyes and you are completely gone for him.

Later that night, as Gavin drifts away with his head on your shoulder and his arm over your stomach, you feel safe. There's clean sheets on top of you and a warm person at your side and the starlight streaming in through the window. You feel happy, and safe.

Safe enough to whisper back.

"I love you."

The words are quiet, too quiet for Gavin to hear them, but that's a good thing as his breathing evens out and he falls fast asleep. It's a good thing because _this_ is a good thing, and it's a new thing, and you've loved Gavin for some time but he doesn't need to know that just yet. You've finally admitted it and it feels like a weight off your chest. It feels like new beginnings and for the first time you are more than ready to leap into your future.

You kiss the top of Gavin's head with a content smile on your face and you quickly drift off too.

The next morning, as you arrive late at the base together with extremely dishevelled hair and wearing the same clothes from yesterday, the only comment that is made is Ray's indignant exclamation of "I told you so!"


End file.
